Growing up I never really cared much to have girl friends. I was always around my older brothers and their friends, or my three boy cousins. I never really got along with girls, and was never interested in all the drama that came with it. I still don’t. Sure, I had a couple really close girl friends growing up, but all of my best friends were pretty much guys. It was low drama and low maintenance, which I was there for. However, in the world we live in, it is more and more important that we have a group of girls around us that support and help us grow; our own girl squad.
The realization hit me my freshman year of college. In a way, I had my own girl squad my entire life through my teammates, but not in a totally healthy way. I’ve played competitive sports since I was 7, and girls aren’t exactly the best at separating the difference between on and off the pitch. College ball was no different. It’s a family, but a highly dysfunctional one at that. This was a quick realization that I needed a healthier support system outside of my team where competition was not an everyday basis and support over all was.
Enter in my sophomore year group of girl friends. All the pieces came together and clicked well initially. The group text was always popping off, and I always had someone to go with me to eat, shop, or go out with. There’s a saying when you hit college, ‘you have real, genuine friends who you can depend on, and you have occasional friends who you only call up to go out with’, and these girls were the latter. Don’t get me wrong; I harbor no ill will or feelings against these girls whatsoever. I genuinely hope that they are growing into the women that they want to be, however, we are growing separately.
There were things that were being perpetuated that I didn’t understand and wouldn’t support. The biggest of them being putting down another woman viciously and then expecting your friends to write them off and do the same. I N E V E R understood why I had to harbor these negative feelings towards someone because a friend of mine did. First of all, it is YOUR problem with her, not mine, and secondly you need to let go of that hurt. People are only as relevant in your life as you let them be.
Let me say that again, so you can hear me in the back: PEOPLE ARE ONLY AS RELEVANT IN YOUR LIFE AS YOU LET THEM BE.
Let go of that hurt and let yourself grow.
Your girl squad needs to have a like-mindedness of bettering yourselves and holding yourselves accountable in life.
Fast forward a couple years to early 2017.
I have an amazing job that I love with my whole heart and soul. It genuinely brings me so much joy to be able to have such a helping hand in helping those in the community. Through this job, I met my girl squad. I can fully trust and be real with them about anything and everything. We can talk about faith, family, and the future and support each other through it all. The other girls celebrate one of our successes, as it was a success of their own. When everything gets a bit stressful, we take a girls weekend and recharge together. We’re all focused on growing; graduating school, finding jobs, moving cities, and exploring the world, and we’re doing it all together.
In a world where society constantly pits women against women, diminishes our abilities, and tells us our dreams aren’t feasible, the girl squad has never been more important. When the world works against us, we can stand together in solidarity.
Peace & Blessings,
Also, shout out to my girls, Madison, MiChaela, and Lexie for graduating this December! I can’t wait to see the amazing things yall do!